Dear New Readers

I doubt I have new readers. I don't even think I have readers at all, at this point. My posts only get about 11 views per post, but that happens almost instantly so I question whether those are even real people or just automatic computer monitoring or something? Occasionally I'll get a comment or a share and that inspires me to keep writing but I love writing so I'm sure I'd find something else to motivate me. I'm trying to write something in here everyday, however brief.

So, for new readers, I've decided to do an about me question-and-answer post. I have yet to update the tabs above this post that have an about me section on there but I'm sure by the time you get to this (if anyone ever does), then they will be updated. I used to run this blog with my then boyfriend, Austin, who I was in a serious relationship with. We broke up over a year ago now, but it still says "About Us" on it even though I have since then updated what is inside the tab. It used to be more of a book review and discussion type of blog and although I still do those from time to time it's more like a whatever I want to post type of blog. I don't think I need to add a genre although doing that would probably bring a target audience along if this blog has a specific topic or even purpose.

Anyway, before I ramble anymore and I'm not even being humorous let's get into this: (these were random questions taken from online and have no real order or anything, but that's a pretty good representation of me I think).

What is my Full Name?

Lorna Amranwen Parsons but I prefer to go by the nickname Loz and use my mothers last name, so Lorna Amranwen O'Connor. I think it not only sounds better but makes me somewhat make a statement that I'm more my mother than my dad.

What is Your Favourite Drink?

Coke or Tea (90% hot water, 10% milk in that order and obviously the teabag and the two and a half sugars go in first). I also really like smoothies and sometimes lemonade or Mountain Dew.

What is Your Favourite Song at the Moment?

"Can't Help Falling in Love With You" by Elvis, but really anyone who sings it well is a winner in my eyes.

What is Your Favourite Food?

Hmm...ooh, I don't know. I like food but I can't say I love it, I mostly just snack nowadays. I think probably Hunter's chicken (chicken wrapped in bacon and cheese and topped with BBQ sauce, usually served with fries or potato wedges or just a salad).

What is the Last Thing you Bought?

A Simpsons comic at my local charity shop. The excitement I felt when I saw them there on the shelf. There was also some Beano comics and my sister got one because my mother found one of her birth year and thought my sister would like it. Not sure if she does, I haven't yet asked!

Favourite Book of All Time?

I really don't have a favourite book. I love all books!

Favourite Colour?

Black, red, pink, blue.

Pets?

An almost 13yr old black feline named Tessa and I used to have a one year old called Boo, but she has since been...removed.

Foxy Tessa 

Favourite Perfume?

I never wear purfume although sometimes I do wear my mum's which comes in like a red apple bottle and I like it a lot.

Favourite Holiday?

Halloween and Christmas, I like to merge the two. Thank you, The Nightmare Before Christmas!

Are You Married?

I'm only twenty and I'm in a relationship but it's only been almost four weeks! I do hope to be married someday though.

How Many Siblings Do You Have?

My half-brother, Liam, 6. My sister, Catherine, 18.

Favourite Shop?

A really nice place called Vincent Davies and any charity stores, really.

Favourite Restaurant?

Weatherspoon's! Or Pizza Hut, maybe

When Was the Last Time You Cried?

Last night. Me and my now ex-best friend had a massive argument and I ended up having to block her and I'm still a bit upset about it, all a misunderstanding but she won't really listen and it was pointless waiting for her to calm down because I know her and her temper. She wasn't calming anytime soon.

Favourite Movie?

Anything Disney or Pixar, I probably love. Well, not too fond of The Little Mermaid but everything else I adore.

TV Show?

Once Upon A Time, Doctor Who, American Horror Story, Black Mirror, The Walking Dead, Breaking Bad...I love them all.

PC or Mac?

Never used an Apple computer so I'm going to go with PC.

What Phone Do You Have?

An IPhone 5S, I think it is?

How Tall Are You?

A short five foot seven!

Thank you for taking the time out of your life to read through this. It was very brief and quick, I know, but I want to answer more common and personal things in the About Me section of the tabs on this blog. I'll be updating it either later on tonight or I'll do it tomorrow morning before I head off to my college work experience! 

Collective Toy Haul: Beauty and the Beast Pop! Vinyls

I have wanted Pop figures for so long, you guys, and recently I freaked out because I saw some from my favourite movie ever, Beauty and the Beast. They are just adorable and it would have been a crime to not have bought them, right? Right! I was also considering buying Wall-E (and deeply regret not buying him...a future purchase, for sure). I just want all the Disney pop figures, that would be awesome. Anyway, lets not ramble on too much, here they are!:

He even has his little arms on his waist in the sassy pose! He and Lumiere (my next purchase, probably) are my favourite together. I love the detail he has. The cute little 'hair'style, the little clock ticking moustache, I love him so much. His home, and Miss Potts and Chips home, is in my little library where I thought it was appropriate to put Beauty and the Beast characters. 

These two were a lot smaller then I thought they were going to be, even though on Amazon I was told that they were going to be smaller then they looked on the website, I thought it might have been a bigger edition because it was two but it wasn't. I still adore them, I actually think them being smaller really adds to the adorable. Little Chip is minute!

They're very sturdy, I feel like they won't break easily. They have so much little detail and colour added to them. I think my next is certainly going to be Wall-E and something else! Stay tuned!

Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets #2 - Squibs and Ginny.

This book is the first time I have ever actually felt sorry for Filch. He has to deal with not being magic surrounded by people who are, including the greatest wizards and witches like Dumbledore and Hermione Granger. I don't know if it's possible for a squid to advance to basic magic, I'm a fan of Harry Potter but I'm not educated on all of it. Part of me hopes that he does find a way to become magic somehow. 

There's also writing on the wall in blood and in the movies, of course, it was easily wiped off but in the books it's half impossible to remove. Of course we know it was Ginny, but did she really do it without magic then if she can't remove it? I don't know, it always amazes me how much the movies left out.

How did you like these parts of the book?

See you next time

- Loz x

Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets #1 - Dobby the House-Elf.

Hi, I'm finally back with another Harry Potter book and update posts! This time, I will really need to update every few chapters to keep my thoughts on the book written down. I kept forgetting to do it what with all the other posts I was trying to get done, but what with my posting-everyday-in-August coming to an end really soon, I think I'll try to be posting one of these every few days! And it's not really much of a marathon, is it? 

Anyway, I'm up to chapter four, I believe, and we have just been introduced to Dobby. I want to say what my first impressions of him are, and I would love to know what you thought about him. I actually didn't really like him. I felt pity for him, what with the description of him being ugly and in dirty clothes and having a horrible family to keep him, but I mostly just felt mad at him for doing that to Harry. On the assumption that he is an eavesdropping type of Elf (otherwise how would he have known Harry would be in danger that year?), he must have known all about Harry's situation, too? At least once he did find out, he should have put a stop to it. I mean, he seems to really care about Harry's safety so what he did with the cake and the making noise seemed a dumb thing to do on his part in terms of keeping Harry safe. 

He also seemed very invasive of Harry's life, like he had a right to keep hold of Harry's letters and make him stay away from Hogwarts.

Of course, my fondness for him grew over time but I can't remember if that happened in this book or the later books. We'll soon find out!

What was your first impression of Dobby?

- Loz x

Harry Potter And The Philosophers Stone Update #2

I'm on page 140 of 331, just about to start the chapter where Harry Potter meets the potions master up front for the first time, but I came across an intersting comment on my Facebook Page the other day. Usually, when I think of Potter books, I think of how Rowling wrote them like she was writing them for us and that when we grew up, we would be at the suitable age to read the next one. That's how I thought they were released. But them someone posted some 'mini reviews' and said how the book was suited for the age that Harry was in that book - I don't know why I never thought about it that way, but I didn't, I'm pretty sure everyone else has probably already thought of that, though. 

Anyway, I like how Ron is presented in the books far more then the movies. In the movies, he was a bit of a prick. For example, in "Goblet of Fire" when they were talking about the Yule Ball, he basically made fun of a girl because she was fat - and it made me think that in the movies, he never really liked Hermionie because of herself, he liked her because she was beautiful. In the books, I think I felt differently about that, although I can't be sure. 

Harry is also way more sassy. He still makes me laugh out loud! 

How are you getting along, if you're reading with me? If now, how are you enjoying it? 

- Loz x

Thoughts || "Eleanor and Park" by Rainbow Rowell.

Eleanor is the new girl in town, and she's never felt more alone. All mismatched clothes, mad red hair and chaotic home life, she couldn't stick out more if she tried.

Then she takes the seat on the bus next to Park. Quiet, careful and - in Eleanor's eyes - impossibly cool, Park's worked out that flying under the radar is the best way to get by.

Slowly, steadily, through late-night conversations and an ever-growing stack of mix tapes, Eleanor and Park fall in love. They fall in love the way you do the first time, when you're 16, and you have nothing and everything to lose.

Set over the course of one school year in 1986, Eleanor & Park is funny, sad, shocking and true - an exquisite nostalgia trip for anyone who has never forgotten their first love.

(yes, I copied that from Goodreads. Don't judge me, it's a lot to type, okay!)

(oh, also, this talk is not spoiler free)

So I started this book on the 2nd August, and then finished it in the morning of the 3rd August. I was pretty close, actually, to finishing it in one sitting and it was only because I was getting tired that I didn't. Now, because of this, you might think this talk will be a mostly positive reflection on the book and, as much as I don't want to tell writers their work is crap, it won't be. I like to be as honest as possible on all my social media, my blog is no exception. 

I'm just going to start with Rainbow Rowell overall. I haven't done much (any) research on her, though, so it's just going to be on her writing style and that disclaimer-like chapter at the back. I find it incredibly gripping, even when what she was writing at times didn't interest me. For example, it began to get repetitive and predictable real fucking quickly. I went into this book hoping that it wouldn't be just like any other YA romance, and was thoroughly disappointed. But, more on that later. The fact that it was Rainbow Rowell writing it made me want to keep reading. Sure, the hype surrounding her as a writer probably has something to do with it - even though I've never caved into hype unless I am actually interested in reading the book - but I guess we'll find out if I really do like her writing in future books.

She was pretty sassy in that end chapter. And, you guessed it, that made me really like her too. Although the fact that she ended the book on something that makes me eager for more kiiinda makes me mad. I want to know those three words, dammit! Was it "I love you", or was it "I miss you?" Was it "Come to me?" or "I'm visiting you?". Because of the set-up in the entire book, where Park always said "I love you" and Eleanor wasn't into saying it back (I feel you on that, girl), I'm inclined to believe it was "I love you", however there was also a little tension surrounding "I miss you", too. I guess we just have to go with whatever our imaginations want us to go with. I'm getting off the point majorly here, yeah? Yeah. 

Let's just move on. 

Character development, to me, is pretty important in books. If you don't have characters that you can connect to,  is there really a point in making a plot around them? Is there really a point of telling their story if you don't know the person who's telling it, really know them? I felt this frequently when reading this book. Although, it wasn't bad development, I have read worse, much worse. Eleanor was fiery, just like her flaming red hair (yay, stereotype). She had sass, she remained with a somewhat upper-hand, she was eccentric, she was a "freak", and my favourite part was that she was never described upfront to be a pretty and curvy girl like every other female is in YA romances. They are meant to have a somewhat "flaw" by being bigger then other girls, but that flaw...isn't really a flaw, it's more like some sort of porn movie desire in the end. Some people found her to be pretty, some didn't, which to me is giving across an outdated message of "beauty is subjective", which I believe in but I've heard enough about it. Eleanor, maybe because I connected to her, wasn't where I was seeing development problems.

It was with Park. 

Firstly, and this is just personal preference, I don't know why you'd call your child Park. Secondly, he had vague differences to every other boy in the 80's - aside from the fact he was Asian and "womanly", that is (also another reason why I like Rowell, she kicked gender roles in the face). He sneakily looked into his dads' Playboy magazines, he dated girls because they were popular rather then actually liking them, etc. What Eleanor saw in him, I would never know. 

And, when it came to romance, they said the same sort of things to each other, as they do in every YA romance. Although, I do appreciate this book sounding more like teenagers. Teenagers are jerks to each other, and aren't always soppy and over the top and having sex whenever they get one free moment (although they were almost like that, lets be honest here). 

Which leads me onto my third point, their romance was not believable, they were really just meant to be close friends. I felt for them as friends, but their romance was almost forced, like they needed the affection but couldn't get it from anyone else. Despite this, I was cheering them on throughout the entire thing. I wanted them to work out. I was dying for them to work out. They warmed my heart, gave me butterflies in my tummy, and made my head dizzy - and I'm not even one for romantic shit, that usually just isn't my thing. 

And, lastly, the plot. It was okay. Overall, it was just a story of a blossoming romance. The domestic abuse was not really portrayed horribly enough for me to be mad about it or demand that she never do that again, but it did seem like a ploy to make their romance work out - or seem tragic. But, their was a lot of that in here. A lot of coincidences (like Park, after months, learning how to drive before Eleanor needed to escape out of the town due to her abusive stepdad who was probably going to rape her any day now if she hadn't have got out). It just wasn't an amazingly well developed plot, but I actually kind of liked that. It made a nice change to the very complicated, sometimes over-the-top plotlines I find myself reading now. 

After that hell of a discussion, what do you think about the book, did you like it or didn't like it? Who was your favourite character?

Loz x

The Life of the Autistic - Depression, Anxiety and Stress.

Really stupid things bother and stress me out, make me anxious and depress me. Although I am aware of this, it doesn't make it go away, it doesn't change anything. There's only a few things right now that are bothering me, on top of the normal teenage hormones that every teenager has.

I have huge anxiety problems, one of the biggest is change in routine and being unable to build a routine. As I have mentioned several times, I'm going to England to see my family on Tuesday/Wednesday. That right there is one thing that stresses me out, not knowing whether we are going on Tuesday afternoon or Wednesday morning. My mother has already come to explain to me that she can't give me the exact day and has told me the reasons why that is, but it doesn't change anything. I feel extremely nauseated over this, I haven't been breathing properly over the past few days, anxiety attacks are going back to being common and boy...the chest pain is probably the worst right now. 

I can't pack everything right now and yes, I am fully aware it's a week away and packing right now isn't needed but I like to be ready for things, I like to know what's happening. It seems simple but all the clothes need washing and I need some clothes to wear for this week and it's bringing on so much anxiety, and I just want to go to a corner, shut the door and scream while pulling my hair out (yes, caused by the autism) which I have a feeling might happen sooner rather then later at a really bad time, as usual. 

My phone bill isn't paid and if we don't have the money to pay it by the time England comes around, it's going to make things so much harder - my boyfriend Austin lives in Ohio, quite the while away from the UK and if there's anything wrong with the Internet and something happens, I always use my phone and will go to Austin to help myself calm down because he always knows exactly what to say and gives the most useful advice for how I can fix what's wrong or how I can make things better and without having that little safety net, it's a huge anxiety trigger for me. I know, I know, another teenager obsessed with her phone but honestly, I don't care what other people think about that (obviously, otherwise I wouldn't be making this post), it's something that I need to help me. 

Along with the above, I am not in the best home situation. To put it nicely, I have a very bratty younger sister who likes to make things harder on all of us. She's putting a lot of pressure and worry and anxiety on top of me, and all of the anxiety I already had is just making me super depressed. I am not diagnosed with severe depression, so just putting it out there that my main problem is and always has been anxiety, especially socially. My mother is also very very busy and most of my life, I am not ashamed to admit that I have relied on her for most things so during times like this when I need her to be consistent and to know things, she can't do that for me and it's probably driving her as well as me crazy.

My exam is in a month and as you probably already know, autistic kids have a lot of problems with revision/studying and everytime I try to do it, I can't remember anything and I freak out and get too anxious and angry to continue - then the fact I will probably fail the exam if this continues just makes me want to cry because if I try to tell anyone about this, they tell me things like "All you have to do is work hard. You get what you deserve!" but I am trying hard, I really am. I'm not getting anywhere. 

There's also a few personal problems going on with me, too, that I haven't even told Austin about so I'm obviously going to leave that out of here...

Basically, I won't be blogging for a little bit. I might be a couple of days, a couple of weeks, a couple of months, I don't know. It won't be until I have a steady routine going on, and I'm in a situation where I can come up with ideas. I will still be writing a lot of drafts on here as I always do because I do love writing, but they have bad spelling and they're not structured, I just don't have the energy to fix them so they're worthy of being published. I hope you can understand. I will see you when I can.