BookTalk: The Kite Runner by Khaled Hosseini || Forgiveness

No idea why it's taken this long to read this, considering it's been sitting in my room for a few months and maybe even a year. I've been recommended this left, right and centre but I had expectations for it that I just didn't feel like reading at the time. The only way I can describe it is that I thought it was going to be a historical document on the Taliban, Afghanistan/Iran/Pakistan, and refugees. Even though this was true to some degree, this book wasn't even about what I thought it was about and it took me into a whirlwind of surprise and I really needed to discuss it before my mind exploded. 

In case you haven't read it (and if you haven't, this isn't going to be spoiler-free so I'd suggest you leave now unless you don't care about spoilers and want to know about the book and this probably isn't the place for you either, it's going to be a whole lot of just 'what I thought') or just need a recap, this book is about two boys who share a home and a friendship. There's Hassan, a boy who has undying loyalty and kindness and is also the servant's son. Amir is the narrator of this story, a boy who is a lot less loyal and a lot less kind. One day, something beyond awful happens to Hassan and this story covers the consequences of this event. The first part here is set in Afghanistan in 1975, and by the end it is set in America in what appears to be the current day. 

Basically, what I thought this book was going to be about was that the Taliban arrive like a marching band on the day of the kite tournament and they take Hassan and do terrible things to him, and Amir was going to have to try and find him and he failed so when he leaves the country to find refuge, he wants to come back to try and get redemption for this mistake. It wasn't that far off, but it was incredibly far off. 

What actually happens is, on the day of the kite tournament, Amir wins. After he wins, his kite is cut and Hassan does what he does best and runs to catch it. Of course, he does, because Hassan is brilliant in so many ways. I think it's because he was taking a while, but Hassan runs to find him. He does find him, and he's surrounded by their worst enemies. I forgot the other two boys' names, but because they don't appear again in the rest of the book they aren't relevant. The one that does the real damage is called Assef. 

This is the part where I almost slammed my book down in anger and called it quits, because it's quite hard to love a book when you hate the narrator - although I didn't end up hating him for very long, I seem to have a weakness for main characters who are assholes.

Assef rapes Hassan when Hassan stands up for Amir and says he wouldn't give up the kite for anything. He just accepts being raped by Assef, because he wants to stay loyal to Amir. The worst part about this is that Amir had watched the whole thing from the sidelines, and we later find out that Hassan knew this and still stayed loyal, but didn't step in and instead chose to ran. This is the second book that has ever made me cry (the first being "A Monster Calls" by Patrick Ness), although it wasn't really crying, it was more like my eyes watered and I had to stop reading for a moment to collect myself - but I'm going to count it. The part that made me cry was when Hassan walks back to Amir with the kite in his hands and blood dripping down his legs. Amir didn't even have the courage to make him feel better, he did nothing. 

Later on - unclear when, could have been weeks or months - Amir frames Hassan because Amir wants Hassan and his father, Ali, to be gone. Amir's dad (Baba) and Ali have been best friends since they were kids, so not only was he destroying the friendship he had with Hassan and ruining any chances of ever being friends with him again and even just admitting to the truth, he broke the friendship between Ali and Baba too. Amir does this by putting his watch and money he received for his birthday underneath the mattress. Even worse, on Amir's birthday, Hassan and Ali give Amir a gift that cost them a lot of money and seeing as they are servants I imagine they don't have much. 

This did teach me some things that I have been thinking about lately, though, about the art of forgiving other people and forgiving yourself as well as being kind and grateful for what you have despite your dire circumstances. 

I think it's important to forgive other people so you can let go of your past pain and move on. It's not about whether they deserve it or not. It's about letting go of the anger and the want for revenge, so you can move on with your life and put that negative energy to some good. If the people in this book, like Hassan, can learn to forgive the harshest of crimes then I'm sure you can forgive and forget, too. 

Very much how I saw the rest of this book was like an act of atonement, almost. Amir spent so long trying to forget what it was that he did, and ignoring it, before he eventually reached the age where he was in his forties and he properly paid for what he did as a child and made it up (ish) to the son of Hassan. There was a lot of metaphors and hidden messages and meanings I picked up behind the whole Amir and Hassan's son thing, but what I am choosing to focus on here is that it is possible to forgive yourself and atone for what you did and doing bad things doesn't always make you a bad person. Doing bad things and feeling remorse means that you cared, and you're not entirely a bad person in there after all. I really liked that message which I personally got from it. 

I have wanted to make a blog post on forgiveness for a while, but I wasn't sure where to start considering I still haven't really forgiven myself for what I've done in the past and I sometimes think I never will. It's a journey we all have to take on sometimes, and one that you don't have to do alone. 

Also, this book does talk about the very important topic about Muslims/Afghans seeking refuge after the Taliban 'invaded' Afghanistan. Very much like ISIS in Syria, these people need help and I thank this book for bringing to light what should have already been in the light - that people all need help, and the act of a few does not equal the act of all. If you are against Muslims or refugees entering another country for any reason, I hope you have read this book and changed your mind.

- Thank you for reading, and until next time, Loz x. 

There's so much I can say about this book but I think I'll leave it there until next time!