Orlando

I am not gay. 

I didn't personally know any of these people that went to the Pride club. I don't even know what their names were. I don't know what their ages were. I don't know what they looked like. 

What I do know is that they were people. Maybe one of them played keyboard on weekends, hoping that one day he'd make it as a musician and sang along to all of his favourite hits as they came on the radio. Maybe one of them loved to play video games and didn't have a job and still lived with his mother, but he didn't have to be hugely important to a grand number of people in order to be satisfied with his life and who he was. Or maybe I'm just making up stories about who they were, maybe they weren't all nice people. Of course, not all of them would have been. 

Did that mean that they deserved to die, especially for their sexuality? Certainly not. 

I've been finding it difficult to continue on with my life like nothing happened. I just can't. I really can't imagine what the family members or friends or even old classmates must be feeling right now. I can't fathom the pain they must be going through just because one or more people thought it was necessary to take them from the world, because he deserved to be here more than any of them. Clearly. He obviously thought that this loss of life was worth it. 

I somewhat feel sorry for him. He is absent of love. He is filled with so much hatred that he can't let God in, he can't love the way we do. He can't see the world with anything but burning hot coals. He wants to destroy. For what reason? I don't know. I want him to be crippled up in pain right now, I want it to tear him alive as he rots in a cell. Something tells me he's probably proud of what he's doing, and the life he has taken. 

It wasn't worth it. 

Here I am to say that you can make a difference. Hannah Hart recently made a video on gun laws and how they need to be stricter so people who are unstable can't get their hands as easily on a gun. To make them a lot less accessible, so we can prevent from doing this in the future, and how we may be small but together we are big and together, we can make a difference. 

Prayers are no longer enough. Thoughts are no longer enough. 

We have to take action. 

Whether that be spreading positivity around wherever you go, fighting for LGBT rights as hard as you can or maybe it's just tweeting to the members of state that we need to see a change and we need to see that change soon. Ask yourself. Is it really worth the loss of more life? Innocent life. No. No, it's not. 

All I can ask from you is that you spread around love. Tell everyone that you love and care for them because it might be the last time you ever see them again. We live in a world where we can not guarantee they will walk through the door healthy and happy. Appreciate today, we don't know what tomorrow will bring. 

I am beyond devastated, I have no words. 

Fight for rights.

(and pictured above is a rainbow flag I saw on my way to college this morning, in support of LGBT rights after the shootings of Orlando. I thought it was beautiful and I don't care how late I already was, or how dumb I looked, I couldn't not take a picture, right? Right)

As for Christina Grimmie, I have watched her channel grow from the 100's to 3 million. I watched her go from the Emo haircut phase in front of an old camera with her keyboard and a gaming poster in the background to the beautiful woman she was getting so high in her career and making something of herself. I know that if she was alive today to witness the Orlando shootings, she would have been making a big difference in trying to help them because that's who Grimmie was. A very helpful and kind and compassionate lady. I don't think even the most hateful of people would be able to say a single bad word against her. She just wasn't the kind of person you could do that to. 

The world has taken a beating this week. Please do not add to the suffering. Be kind. Be loving. Be generous. Do not be afraid to be you. Do not worry about being small. You can and will make a difference to the world, if you only believe in yourself. 

Loz x