I'm in a surprisingly good mood considering my life situation, so I don't think being lost is a bad thing. I don't need to be found, I'm a motherfucking woman, I got this. Albeit, I'm wearing a Walking Dead t-shirt with tea stains on it (jokes, they're my tears) and no pants because I haven't washed clothes in a week but I am still a woman and I still got this, ok? Okay!
Okaaaaaaay, let's catch up where we left of. When was my last post? A comic book review on Oddly Normal? Clearly, shit was much more together back then. I don't think I could handle the amount of thought collecting reviewing takes to happen now, no sir. I mean...ma'am, I am indeed on the Anti-Man Train (oh look, we're just passing the 'I don't know what a joke is' Island, prepare to crash, arrrrrrgh!).
So my last post was on the 6th August, which means I haven't written on here since before my 20th birthday! Well well well, I have absolutely no idea what has happened in almost 3 months but I guess I can try sum it up for you (and also sum up why things have been a bit shit and why this is my first happy day in so long):
-One: FUCKING MEN
Okay, I'll try to make this short. Back when I was 15/16, I met a guy on an online dating website (I was fifteen, fucking hell past Lorna, what's wrong with being single and alone and crying into a glass of vodka?! Nothing). We'll call him Fucking Twat. We got talking through those stupid question-and-answer things, it was all rather public, and I was with someone else at the time. Let's call him...Ding-Dong-Dick. Well, Ding-Dong-Dick was rather controlling. He would check my social media all the time, block people he didn't like and when I checked his it was empty because it was deleted by not me because I'm not a motherfucking cunt.
Well, Ding-Dong-Dick was not very smart and didn't block Fucking Twat because I guess he thought we were too good friends to ever create a relationship and, on hindsight, he was probably right. We created an excellent Relationshit, though.
So, Ding-Dong-Dick was kicked to the curb (see you, sucker!) and I got with Fucking Twat. We had so many problems - we would argue basically everyday. This kept on for eight months, and then he broke up with me and blocked me and went with my best friend at the time who I now call Flake. No reason, she just suits it.
Skip ahead two-ish years, we started speaking again and I was like hey,maybe he's changed (HAHAHAHAHA) and I do genuinely like this guy so lets start something and start something we did. We lasted from September 2015 until late January of 2016. I broke up with him this time because this woman was getting a bit of control (well...not really).
I met him in February, stayed with him for two days and went home. We did not yet have sex, but I'll get to that. We got back together, but he was being really weird for like a week and then he left me and because I'm so insecure my instant reaction was HE HATES ME BECAUSE OF HOW I LOOK, I'M SO UGLY and yes I am a mess on the inside and out but really, he wasn't good enough for me.
From this point on, I was hung up on my phone constantly talking to him and if he went 2-3 days with talking I would get really upset and sad and snap at everyone. I was turning into my mother by the day and it was really not okay!
Skip to...oh, I don't know, where was I? I think it was June, I was drunk (lol why) and sitting outside some public toilets in the train station. Some guy I really liked messaged me and was like "look I found another woman, we're having sex and u suck". Again, really insecure so I went running back to my ex-boyfriend because he was STILL THERE and it just goes downhill after this point, what am I doing with my life.
So in...July, I visit him for 3 days. It cost me £50 for a 14hr coach journey there and a 14hr coach journey back home. I was meant to stay for longer, but his roommates were like "oh nooooo no no!". THAT'S NOT EVEN THE STUPID PART, WAIT A SECOND. We had sex. He used a condom, but then we were like "...nah" and just didn't. Spoiler: no STD, no pregnancy, we good. It really fucking hurt, okay. Lol, anyway.
I went home and after about a week, I spent ANOTHER £50 to go down and see him for a week. Started and ended as a disaster. He was terrible at hiding things. Another girl was involved, basically, we'll jump to that. Nothing happened, I was on my period the entire time I was up there which really was a beneficial thing.
Fucking Twat was very...I don't know, I am a princess ok and he put me down a lot for whatever decision I made, statement I said, movies I've watched. Made me feel like crap. The day after my birthday (8th), I was on my way to my grandparents when I was like "ok, listen...I don't need you in my life or want you here, so be on ur way" and alas Fucking Twat was gone and I WAS FREE. The Dobby of the free world without the death and the serious injuring.
Was this the end of my man problems? NOPE.
That VERY EVENING I made a Tinder account. Yep. I stooped that low. I was quite upset and lonely, honestly just looking for some friends. The first evening, I met a dude. Lets call him Even Flakier than Flake. He, like me, had autism and I was so happy to hear this. I was thinking "yes, this could turn into a friendship or maybe even something more..." and I don't really remember much about him, just the fact he saw my boobs and we had a lot of Skype dates and he seemed a little too hung up on sex. We got together, lasted like four days, and "broke up". That was the end of that.
Throughout this whole facade, I found another guy. I named him Nemo because of his limpy leg and this one, I talked to for long enough that I started developing feeling for him. It was only about 2 weeks ago we stopped talking. He didn't want to talk anymore because"waaah how can I fuck u when u live so far away, waaaah", like fine fuck you, go get lost again and this time no-one will find you, ya cunty clownfish.
Basically, I have finally reached a point in my life where I can say: being single is not as bad as people make it out to be and if anyone needs me, I'll be eating my way through Ben and Jerry's (I bought 2 pots. TWO. I live a wild life here, kids, bad role model for u babies).
Okaaaaaaay, let's catch up where we left of. When was my last post? A comic book review on Oddly Normal? Clearly, shit was much more together back then. I don't think I could handle the amount of thought collecting reviewing takes to happen now, no sir. I mean...ma'am, I am indeed on the Anti-Man Train (oh look, we're just passing the 'I don't know what a joke is' Island, prepare to crash, arrrrrrgh!).
So my last post was on the 6th August, which means I haven't written on here since before my 20th birthday! Well well well, I have absolutely no idea what has happened in almost 3 months but I guess I can try sum it up for you (and also sum up why things have been a bit shit and why this is my first happy day in so long):
-One: FUCKING MEN
Okay, I'll try to make this short. Back when I was 15/16, I met a guy on an online dating website (I was fifteen, fucking hell past Lorna, what's wrong with being single and alone and crying into a glass of vodka?! Nothing). We'll call him Fucking Twat. We got talking through those stupid question-and-answer things, it was all rather public, and I was with someone else at the time. Let's call him...Ding-Dong-Dick. Well, Ding-Dong-Dick was rather controlling. He would check my social media all the time, block people he didn't like and when I checked his it was empty because it was deleted by not me because I'm not a motherfucking cunt.
Well, Ding-Dong-Dick was not very smart and didn't block Fucking Twat because I guess he thought we were too good friends to ever create a relationship and, on hindsight, he was probably right. We created an excellent Relationshit, though.
So, Ding-Dong-Dick was kicked to the curb (see you, sucker!) and I got with Fucking Twat. We had so many problems - we would argue basically everyday. This kept on for eight months, and then he broke up with me and blocked me and went with my best friend at the time who I now call Flake. No reason, she just suits it.
Skip ahead two-ish years, we started speaking again and I was like hey,maybe he's changed (HAHAHAHAHA) and I do genuinely like this guy so lets start something and start something we did. We lasted from September 2015 until late January of 2016. I broke up with him this time because this woman was getting a bit of control (well...not really).
I met him in February, stayed with him for two days and went home. We did not yet have sex, but I'll get to that. We got back together, but he was being really weird for like a week and then he left me and because I'm so insecure my instant reaction was HE HATES ME BECAUSE OF HOW I LOOK, I'M SO UGLY and yes I am a mess on the inside and out but really, he wasn't good enough for me.
From this point on, I was hung up on my phone constantly talking to him and if he went 2-3 days with talking I would get really upset and sad and snap at everyone. I was turning into my mother by the day and it was really not okay!
Skip to...oh, I don't know, where was I? I think it was June, I was drunk (lol why) and sitting outside some public toilets in the train station. Some guy I really liked messaged me and was like "look I found another woman, we're having sex and u suck". Again, really insecure so I went running back to my ex-boyfriend because he was STILL THERE and it just goes downhill after this point, what am I doing with my life.
So in...July, I visit him for 3 days. It cost me £50 for a 14hr coach journey there and a 14hr coach journey back home. I was meant to stay for longer, but his roommates were like "oh nooooo no no!". THAT'S NOT EVEN THE STUPID PART, WAIT A SECOND. We had sex. He used a condom, but then we were like "...nah" and just didn't. Spoiler: no STD, no pregnancy, we good. It really fucking hurt, okay. Lol, anyway.
I went home and after about a week, I spent ANOTHER £50 to go down and see him for a week. Started and ended as a disaster. He was terrible at hiding things. Another girl was involved, basically, we'll jump to that. Nothing happened, I was on my period the entire time I was up there which really was a beneficial thing.
Fucking Twat was very...I don't know, I am a princess ok and he put me down a lot for whatever decision I made, statement I said, movies I've watched. Made me feel like crap. The day after my birthday (8th), I was on my way to my grandparents when I was like "ok, listen...I don't need you in my life or want you here, so be on ur way" and alas Fucking Twat was gone and I WAS FREE. The Dobby of the free world without the death and the serious injuring.
Was this the end of my man problems? NOPE.
That VERY EVENING I made a Tinder account. Yep. I stooped that low. I was quite upset and lonely, honestly just looking for some friends. The first evening, I met a dude. Lets call him Even Flakier than Flake. He, like me, had autism and I was so happy to hear this. I was thinking "yes, this could turn into a friendship or maybe even something more..." and I don't really remember much about him, just the fact he saw my boobs and we had a lot of Skype dates and he seemed a little too hung up on sex. We got together, lasted like four days, and "broke up". That was the end of that.
Throughout this whole facade, I found another guy. I named him Nemo because of his limpy leg and this one, I talked to for long enough that I started developing feeling for him. It was only about 2 weeks ago we stopped talking. He didn't want to talk anymore because"waaah how can I fuck u when u live so far away, waaaah", like fine fuck you, go get lost again and this time no-one will find you, ya cunty clownfish.
Basically, I have finally reached a point in my life where I can say: being single is not as bad as people make it out to be and if anyone needs me, I'll be eating my way through Ben and Jerry's (I bought 2 pots. TWO. I live a wild life here, kids, bad role model for u babies).
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